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Ronald Reagan's Humor
A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud
voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.
"...I know it's hard when you're
up to your armpits in alligators to remember you came here to drain the swamp."
Before I refuse to take your questions, I
have an opening statement.
But there are advantages to being elected
President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified
Top Secret.
Government's view of the economy could be
summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving,
regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it
I am not worried about the deficit. It is
big enough to take care of itself.
I know I'm not in government anymore. In
fact I'm out of work.
If the federal government had been around
when the Creator was putting His hand to this state, Indiana wouldn't be here.
It'd still be waiting for an environmental impact statement.
It's silly talking about how many years we
will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could pave the whole
country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas.
Recession is when a neighbor loses his
job. Depression is when you lose yours.
To sit back hoping that someday, some way,
someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will
eat you last - but eat you he will.
What makes him think a middle aged actor
[Clint Eastwood], who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?
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